DrRoberta Dear Dr. Roberta,
My father-in-law is a bigot. He comes to our home and says nasty things. He also drives too fast, eats too sloppily, and talks too loudly. My husband is as annoyed as I am but he doesn’t say anything to his father. I am fed up and would like to bar father-in-law from our house. What do you think?
Daughter-in-law in California
Dear Daughter-in-law,
Of course you are right to be furious at your father-in-law and of course your husband is angry, too. But, in a marriage it is not a good idea to say anything negative about your spouse’s blood relatives. No matter how awful that relative is behaving, the spouse has the urge to defend him or her and turn against you. Understand that your husband probably agrees with you but he simply cannot say so. Blood is thicker than ketchup and an in-law is always ketchup.
-Dr. Roberta
